Sunday, May 10, 2009

Problems Arise

So, now he novelty and excitement of being in Japan has worn away. The money has also become tighter and I am having to monitor my spending far more than I did at the beginning when I was in Japan and had cash. Thus things are starting to get depressing.

I am currently looking for a job... I think I said that last time. Still haven't gotten one yet. I'm a little discouraged, but taking it a day at a time. My friend who got jobs from this site is going to give me the contact info of some of the people she had to turn away. I hope I get people soon. I won't turn them away

Japanese, also, is not getting any easier. I am dreading the mid-term, which is a 10 minute presentation with hand outs and at least 3 interviews. I'm debating doing it on aikido, which would be easy. Or Japanese self image would be an interesting topic. But harder to talk about.

I have also been sick... again... this time it isn't going away as quickly but isn't as bad a cold, illness, whatever. Just a bit annoying to constantly have either a stuff nose of sore throat.

I am also missing more congenial companionship. I feel a bit socially claustrophobic right now, and I don't know how to get around it. In short, I am lonely.

Now that the sparkling magic of Japan has worn off I am finding it hard to motivate myself; it's not as exciting, and the current surroundings are making me a bit upset. The ladies at the International Studies Office said this kind of thing usually happened. Not to sound arrogant, I didn't really think it would happen to me. I'm not the home sick type, in fact I have never been home sick. And I was so gun-ho about this trip, the fact that I am feeling a little down is making it worse... I feel bad for feeling bad. The funny thing is I'm not feeling home sick. Lonely maybe, kind of bored with the lack of social interaction, but not home sick. So I will definitely stick with it. I AM NO QUITTER GOOD SIR! I'm even still debating the staying another semester. It all hinges on me getting a job though.

Another problem is I think my insomnia is coming back. This has been the second night in a row where I watched the sun rise, trying to convince my self that, no really, sleep is a great idea, you should try it, you'd love it. And yet there is no convincing my self of that.

Summer is going to be interesting. The weeks are getting progressively hotter and muggier, I'm not looking forward to meeting July. I'm not going to be wearing very much I think by that time.

Anyways, I said I was going to tell you about ALL of the things that happened to me on this trip, and I think this is a very important part of that. One of the guys here was talking about how he liked Japan, but he didn't think, after this trip, that he would ever want to live here. Another was saying how living in Japan made you appreciate America more. And both are very true. Though I could still see living in Japan, some aspects of America are better, some aspects of Japan are better.

I will let you know how the next few days go. Not much is happening currently. Lots of projects and things to do for school, but that is really all. I am going to take it a day at a time, and ATTEMPT to relax so I don't make my self sick, which I think may be the case.

Wish me luck.
I hope I can do this.

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